Time Out vs. Time In – What is the Difference?

[two_third]Time outs provide a way for parents to manage problem behavior by temporarily removing the child from the negative setting. This behavior-management technique also gives the parent a chance to cool off and regroup instead of reacting in anger. Effective time outs provide enough contrast to normally engaging routines that pediatricians often recommend them to correct misbehavior ranging from talking back to fighting and aggression.[/two_third]

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Although there is no evidence that time outs have detrimental effects on children, some parents fear that time outs can make children feel isolated and abandoned. Parents of children who are incredibly young or diagnosed with cognitive disorders may also feel that their children do not know how to process the punishment, reflect upon what they have done wrong, and correct misbehavior. Similarly, parents of older children may feel that time outs lead to greater power struggles as well as missed opportunities for kids to learn how to self-regulate their emotions.

As an alternative to traditional time outs, some parents use time ins instead. A time in is the method of empathizing with struggling or emotional children and making them feel heard until they calm down again. Parents who have had to put their children in time outs daily (or even hourly) may decide to switch to time ins to work toward a joint solution. The following insights provide guidance as you decide whether time outs or time ins are most suitable for your child.

Options for Time Out

When your child is in time out, you should work on what you would normally be doing but remain close enough to know if your child is in danger or attempts to leave the time out spot. In the event that you need to put two or more children in time out, be sure to place them in different areas.

If a child is mishandling a toy or quarreling with another child over a toy, another option is to put the toy itself in time out. This compromise limits the amount of time you have to physically put your child in time out and can also help teach children the concepts of sharing, reflection, and self-control. After the time out is over, explain why the toy was in time out and have your child repeat why the toy was in time out. This can help your child learn positive behaviors like proper handling of toys or playing cooperatively with other children.

Recommended Steps for Time Out

Options for Time In

One of the easiest ways to use a time in is to calmly invite the child to a neutral place to express feelings and calm down. To ensure that the time in is long enough, you may want to use a timer for three to five minutes for this purpose. Repeat the child’s concern and asks how he or she feels about the situation. Then offer a solution and have the child repeat the suggestion. Once the timer dings, children are more likely to feel that you acknowledged their frustrations and offered a resolution.

For more suggestions on how to create a custom plan of action for your child, contact The Warren Center.

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