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What is Positive Attention?

Positive attention is the practice of showing delight, warmth, and acknowledgement toward the good behaviors and traits within your child. Experts believe children tend to increase performing behaviors that receive acknowledgement (also known as reinforcement).[/two_third]

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Positive attention includes a range of words and actions that help your child feel valued. Some of the most effective forms of positive attention include the following:

Why is Positive Attention Important?

When children receive positive attention, they are less likely to engage in other attention-seeking behaviors. For example, children are less likely to whine, repeat questions, or start quarrels with their children when they receive individual acknowledge and positive attention.

Positive attention can also make discipline or consequences more effective. When a child receives regular praise and “time-ins,” for example, “time-outs” feel more pronounced. Children respond better to time-out once they recognize that it differs substantially from regular positive attention.

Receiving consistent positive attention is also important for a child’s self-image. For children, some of the first sources of confidence derives from reassurance from the important individuals in their lives. Similarly, a child’s sense of security and safety also increases through positive interactions. When children feel that the important adults in their lives genuinely care about their fears or worries, they feel more secure in new or unfamiliar circumstances.

But What About Bad Behavior? Do I Just Ignore It?

If children are behavior in a way that is immediately unsafe for themselves or others, the parent should intervene immediately. Otherwise, if a child is behaving in a way that you simply want to decrease, interacting with the child immediately or yelling “stop” is not the best way to stop the child. The reason is that the child will associate the undesirable behavior with attention and is therefore more likely to keep doing it.

Instead of interacting with a child regarding behaviors you would like to decrease, medical professionals recommend a practice called active ignoring. This means that you withdraw attention until your child stops the behavior. As soon as the behavior stops, provide a form of positive attention known as labeled praise. This means praising good behavior and being as specific as possible so that the children know exactly what behavior to replicate.

 

For example, instead of simply saying “good job,” you might specify, “I love how you are sharing your crayons with your brother” or “You are doing a great job using your indoor voice and sitting nicely in the car.” When children receive labeled praise, they are more likely to continue the good behaviors into the future.

 

What if Bad Behavior Does Not Stop?

If you feel that your child is not responding to labeled praise or displays repetitive behaviors, the next step is to create an individualized plan of action for your child. For example, you may create a special ritual (at a specific time and place each day) that you and your child do together consistently. This creates a focused environment for your child to absorb positive reinforcement and respond accordingly. If you need help creating a custom plan for your child, consult with a mental-health professional to create a behavior chart or journal of suggested activities.

Positive Attention for Every Age Group

Children of all age groups can benefit from positive attention and positive reinforcement. If you need inspiration, consider using some of the following positive attention ideas:

Positive Attention for Newborns and Babies
Positive Attention for Toddlers
Positive Attention for Preschoolers

For more help with developing a custom plan for your child, contact The Warren Center.